These days I have a new schedule. I am waiting... The past two years I was a middle school Social Studies teacher. I was teaching "part time" and spent my mornings grading and planning for the job. I loved spending 7:45am (once our girls were at/on their way to school) to 10:50 (when I had to leave to get to school cafeteria duty, get ready to teach, etc) for work time. Then, I taught until 3:15, often left around 4 to head home. Once our girls were working on homework after dinner, I worked on classroom work for another couple hours until family prayer time. I usually put in another hour or two after they headed off to dreamland, as well.
In early May my husband asked me if I wanted to continue teaching this "forever". I said I wasn't sure and began to pray and think about it in depth over the next few weeks. I loved my job-the kids and staff were wonderful! However, my ultimate goal has always been full time job, and as much as I loved middle school, my heart lies in elementary school. So, I quit my job. I thought about my plan, to apply to everything under the sun, teaching-job-wise, hoping for something, at least an interview, now that I had that elusive "experience"... But, if it didn't happen over the summer, I was going to sub and get back into the teaching pool, hoping for a job for next year. Then, if these don't work out, move into another profession. I love teaching, but the pool of applicants here is so flooded. I recently heard that if you don't get a teaching job in the first three years of looking you won't because you've been "on the market" for so long, like a house-which could just have had viewers who didn't like something about it... but after "so long" people are afraid of it. I got my first subbing jobs in 2005 and have been subbing, an alternative instructor or middle school teacher since... so 8 years... And I am still waiting on the sub agency to finish processing me so I can't get my foot into the subbing door, yet, either.
I'm back at home wondering where my path will lead... where God's path will take me. I wonder how things will work out. My faith base has always been a strong point in my heart, so after my husband's grandfather's funeral, when he mentioned to me that I would make a good chaplain, I chewed on that. It grew in my heart. I called our church and am meeting with the care ministry on Wednesday. I know putting my time, somehow, into sharing my faith will help.
I know God has a plan for me, and I love staying at home, accomplishing the many things neglected while I work outside the home, but there is a longing in my heart to throw myself into something more. I hear of people's struggles with faith after major disappointments in their lives and I don't have those... I just have this need to find where God wants me. I'm just not sure where that is. There's a new song I listen to by the Sidewalk Prophets called Help Me Find It and these words really resonated with me recently:
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
I am enjoying catching up on blogging, too, Reader, to reconnect with you.