One Little Word 2014- Light

Each year, since I read about Ali Edward's concept of the One Little Word, I have tried to set one for myself. A few of the years I have really tried to live it out. A few years, conversely, I have let it slip by unnoticed. This year I have resolved for it to guide me and be present in my mind and heart, to live it and I look forward to it. I also love reading about other people's OLW, how they chose them, what it means to them... all meaningful to me, like Stephanie Howell's blog post, here. And Elise's post, here.

I began to think over my word and what it might be, as I do every year. I was stuck. My past words were:
Faith 2008
Peace 2009
Grace 2010
Read (which I can't even remember thinking over... so this wasn't a particularly definitive word choice/year for me...) 2011
Brave 2012
Grow 2013

And this year, my word is Light. I popped onto Pinterest the other morning and the first thing I saw was this piece of art. I knew Light was to be my word for the year, my One Little Word. I began to pin a "One Little Word" board on Pinterest, letting myself be inspired and soaking it in. Many ideas began to swirl in my mind:

• eat light-fitness
• be light to others-sharing a good attitude
• live light-live clean, get rid of the junk and think about what I choose to carry with me
• find my light-seek light and seek my faith (with teaching a Bible study, chaplain classes and my funeral coordinator's job, I see this one coming to fruition-hopefully! :))
• let my soul be light-with less worry
• light the way-be a good example for my girls
• lighten the load-less stuff, better budget, burdens of others?
• leave the light on-connect with others
• light streaming-work with my plants more-I love to work with plants, inside and out, but have let it slip away
• travel light-go somewhere new? a trip or a new restaurant, a new museum for new ideas/sights?
• lighten expectations-will I be a knitter or sewer/quilter? relax about it and if it doesn't come, remove those expectations from myself, as well as supplies I won't ever use and let them go

I let all these just come and wash over me, one triggering the next. Then, when no more thoughts like this came, I looked up common phrases with the word "light" in them. It was fun! I'm hoping to apply them throughout the year to something, although I'm not sure what just yet. A couple I found were:

• guiding light
• light as a feather
• at first light/light of day
• light years away
• out like a light

I thought of some songs right away, as well:

• This Little Light of Mine
• Learning to be the Light
• Jesus, Light of the World
• Thy Word

For a few of my previous words I ordered a charm for a necklace or a ring to be a constant reminder. I still have and wear almost daily, my rings of the past words: grace, grow and peace. I ordered my light ring from the same place, here on etsy. I'm ready to tackle 2014 with Light. :) Do you have a One Little Word? Or are you still choosing one? 

New Job

I have mentioned in a few posts that I have a new job. I have mentioned in a few posts some simple moments that led to my changes in my job. Here I am collecting those moments and combining them to tell the story. At this time over the last two years, I was a part-time middle school Social Studies teacher. I enjoyed it, loved the staff and students, and kept busy. I enjoyed my job. Then, last spring, my husband asked if I could see myself doing this job "forever". We discussed what else I might be doing: getting my certification and teaching Social Studies in a public school with 30 kids in each class, staying in the same setting, or trying for the full time elementary school teaching position I had desired all these years. I prayed on it and thought over it.
I came to the conclusion that I wanted a full time job, to contribute to our oldest daughter's college costs. I had always felt I was better at teaching elementary school, but was always told that I needed that "classroom experience" before I would be hired. I applied for every job under the sun in a 40 minute radius of us. I applied for any job I was certified for. And I was never called. So, my husband and I discussed that I needed to sub this year and get my name and face back out there. I went through the local subbing training again, as required. They said it would be a week or so before my information was put into the system, but they really needed subs so it shouldn't be too long. It ended up taking over a month! 
During this waiting period my husband's grandfather passed away. A chaplain did the service, even providing a short story for the little children in attendance. As we drove away my husband mentioned that he could see me becoming a chaplain. I was surprised, considering my faithful/service gift to only be with children, Sunday School and the like. He said he considered me warm with everyone. I prayed on it. We also discussed what doors I should close and open toward my future. I was feeling like the house that had been on the market for too long-there may be nothing wrong with it but people won't buy it because they wonder what is wrong with it. I had received many reference letters, and recommendations, votes of confidence from administrators, staff and parents that I had worked with over the last almost ten years. However, that job had just eluded me for so long... 
I was also in touch with an administrator who told me I was first on his list, etc. etc. Then he got me confused with my sister in law and called her for a long term substitute job. It worked out well for her. And in that time, I decided to clear my plate completely, to step away from teaching and see where it led me. 
I went into our church to discuss with them the chaplain program. I talked with someone from the Care Ministry division and she said she'd keep me updated. About a week later she called and said they were saying they were thinking about creating this funeral coordinator position since three-four people were all doing parts of it, would I be interested. I said I'd come in and talk with them about it. Then, over the next week and a day, our church held three funerals. Each were different, and required different things, and I got to be part of each, learning all I could. I took the job and am our church's new funeral coordinator. I am blessed to be able to help families in their times of sadness and need, giving them care and comfort. I truly feel it is a blessing-not once did I wonder if this job was really for me. I felt like it fit perfectly and made my heart full. I get nervous of course, because I want it all to go smoothly.
It's not the full time job I thought I was looking for. It does pay me, which is a blessing. Beginning this month I will also be leading a Bible Study for 8 weeks and beginning the chaplain program which will last until spring.
I cleared my plate and truly feel that God began to place items on it. I wonder what awaits me next!

Right Now

Right now I am

• Typing-I am really enjoying getting back into the regular habit of blogging. It is a good way to think, as well as share, feelings and thoughts. It is a nice form of journaling what our family is experiencing currently, as well.
• Seeing/Watching-my husband is outside mowing and he is trying to trim apple tree branches... This is significant because he always trims too many leaving our trees a bit more... bald than I like them. ;) And I checked with a local nursery and they said try not to trim them until March when they aren't bearing fruit...
• Smelling-I like to cook, but not off the cuff. I know I have mentioned that I love to follow a new recipe. My husband and I had decided to eat leftovers tonight so they won't go to waste. We had chicken and rice bake loosely based off this recipe: Crockpot Chicken Rice and Green Chili Casserole, but I baked mine in the stove with a few minor adjustments.  My husband went downstairs, before mowing/over-trimming trees, and whipped up a soup with those leftovers. I am smelling them now and am suddenly hungry, ready for an early dinner!
• Listening-My big dog is laying beside me, curled up, snoring away, so happy he can be in my office beside me. He was so happy to see our older daughter this weekend.
• Missing-our older daughter. She was home for the weekend, as per request of our younger daughter, to come and "do hair and make-up" for our younger daughter's first high school homecoming dance. She went with a group of friends and looked lovely. Our oldest daughter was glad to come and spend time with us all, and we were sad to see her go. And, as I said, our dog was so happy to see her, and began to act nervous when she brought her bags down today.
• Posting-pictures of our youngest daughter from homecoming. I post to only family and friends on facebook, but here I try not to post pictures of our girls. Just something from my paranoid early days of blogging. One picture had she and I together and people continue to comment on how much we look alike. It's funny how, as parents, we don't notice how much they look like us sometimes, and then in a certain photo, you see it.
• Checking-I play in a fantasy football league with my husband and some friends. The last few weeks my team has played well. We've played combinations of us vs the league average points and against other teams. I was 4-0 until today. I keep checking the game cast-the current stats for my players and I am not seeing positive results! :) Hopefully things will turn around by tomorrow night's Monday Night Football game! I was enjoying being at the top of the chart!
• Dreading-cleaning my office. I have let it get out of hand, working on other parts of the house, and it really needs work!
• Praying-for God to guide me according to His plan and purpose (see prior post)
• Aching-I ran 10 miles with my husband and older daughter yesterday. I actually had to stop at a few points to rest my aching injury that won't go away. I'm sadly scheduling another doctor appointment for this week. Hopefully I will be able to run the half marathon I have been training for-it is three weeks from today.

What is happening Right Now for you, Reader?

Back Home

            These days I have a new schedule. I am waiting... The past two years I was a middle school Social Studies teacher. I was teaching "part time" and spent my mornings grading and planning for the job. I loved spending 7:45am (once our girls were at/on their way to school) to 10:50 (when I had to leave to get to school cafeteria duty, get ready to teach, etc) for work time. Then, I taught until 3:15, often left around 4 to head home. Once our girls were working on homework after dinner, I worked on classroom work for another couple hours until family prayer time. I usually put in another hour or two after they headed off to dreamland, as well.
            In early May my husband asked me if I wanted to continue teaching this "forever". I said I wasn't sure and began to pray and think about it in depth over the next few weeks. I loved my job-the kids and staff were wonderful! However, my ultimate goal has always been full time job, and as much as I loved middle school, my heart lies in elementary school. So, I quit my job. I thought about my plan, to apply to everything under the sun, teaching-job-wise, hoping for something, at least an interview, now that I had that elusive "experience"... But, if it didn't happen over the summer, I was going to sub and get back into the teaching pool, hoping for a job for next year. Then, if these don't work out, move into another profession. I love teaching, but the pool of applicants here is so flooded. I recently heard that if you don't get a teaching job in the first three years of looking you won't because you've been "on the market" for so long, like a house-which could just have had viewers who didn't like something about it... but after "so long" people are afraid of it. I got my first subbing jobs in 2005 and have been subbing, an alternative instructor or middle school teacher since... so 8 years... And I am still waiting on the sub agency to finish processing me so I can't get my foot into the subbing door, yet, either.
             I'm back at home wondering where my path will lead... where God's path will take me. I wonder how things will work out. My faith base has always been a strong point in my heart, so after my husband's grandfather's funeral, when he mentioned to me that I would make a good chaplain, I chewed on that. It grew in my heart. I called our church and am meeting with the care ministry on Wednesday. I know putting my time, somehow, into sharing my faith will help.
             I know God has a plan for me, and I love staying at home, accomplishing the many things neglected while I work outside the home, but there is a longing in my heart to throw myself into something more. I hear of people's struggles with faith after major disappointments in their lives and I don't have those... I just have this need to find where God wants me. I'm just not sure where that is. There's a new song I listen to by the Sidewalk Prophets called Help Me Find It and these words really resonated with me recently:
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
               I am enjoying catching up on blogging, too, Reader, to reconnect with you.