Monday, March 12, 2012

March 12, 2012

It's interesting. When I was young, I didn't think about what I ate or how much I exercised. When I was little I was outside as much as possible. I loved running around my grandpa's property and playing the creek. Even as I got older, I started running in 1989, and I was active. I burned calories so fast that my parents encouraged me to eat a bowl of ice cream (Homemade Brand Mint Chocolate Chip or Homemade Brand Cherry Cordial were my favorites) or my mom would make me Mounds brownies. Those empty calories still disappeared. I was so thin. Even in college, when sometimes I would snack by pouring M & Ms into peanut butter jars and eating them out with a spoon, capping it off with a glass of milk, I didn't keep weight on. I had two daughters, still not gaining weight. In fact, at one point my grandmother said I looked too thin.

Only in the last three years or so did I start to realize I'm putting on weight, even as much as I run. I think about it often, now. I do run, 5 days a week, usually, but I do have bad eating habits. I haven't stuck with my Lenten goal of no snacks or wine in the evenings. Habits are hard to break. I get more and more frustrated, as I wore a short sleeved shirt yesterday and saw my arms bigger than ever before...It is hard. In my last job I was walking all around the school, I was moving a lot, all day, so that helped then. Now I sit at my desk and grade or plan, and then I head to school. I stand and move about the classroom, but not enough in other parts of the day. I get home and head for my desk and computer until my husband is ready for some tv time together, where I go and...sit...and sometimes eat crappy food.

What kind of example am I to my girls if I continue to eat poorly, snack and spend money on things that aren't good for me. We honestly didn't do that as a family until the last 5 years or so.

However... I've run marathons-pushing my body past exhausted, and half marathons leaving my body aching. I've had two daughters with no epidural. ;) My oldest-the actual pushing labor-was 18 hours and a cracked tailbone. And, yet, I did it. So, can I beat this food/weight issue? I think so. I'm still small by the average person's standards, but I'm not fit anymore. I had to buy another pair of pants this week because I didn't have very many that fit me. This lowers my self esteem. Blech. I don't like feeling like that. My family has a history of heart and weight problems, too. Something I need to tackle now.

This week's menu has been planned and most meals are pretty healthy. But I can't just eat healthier, I have to keep exercising and actually get some calories burned.

I saw a great blog here that had some good eating ideas I need to incorporate. I loved Cathy's More More Eat Less and More More Eat Well posts.

Now that I'm done sharing what is on my mind/heart, what's on yours Reader? Do you have struggles like this? Or are you finding you're in just the right spot?

1 comment:

Thimbleanna said...

You've been a lucky girl Jen -- a lot of the rest of this have been fighting this our whole lives. I've never had anyone tell me I was too skinny {sigh}. It's really not about how much you weigh, it's about being fit. I have some pretty beefy girls in some of my workout classes, but they're in great shape. I'd be delirious is I could just run a fraction of what you run! You should give yourself a break -- I think you're doing great!