Difficult

Sometimes the holiday time of year can be difficult. As I put out decorations, I am reminded of people who have gone before us. My mother's dad, Grandpa Red, has been gone since December 18, 1998. He was a great carpenter. He made us many pieces of furniture. He also made us a stable. My aunt, one of his daughters, made me some ceramic nativity items, and my grandpa made us the stable to fit them in. Every time I get it out I think of him, and think of how he'd enjoy our girls, and they him. A few things that were said this past Thanksgiving reminded me of him, and even though it's been 12 years, it can still sneak a few tears in on me. My husband's grandfather died that same time, that same year, but November 30. I used to send his grandmother a card to let her know I was thinking of her, but her memory and mind are clouded and muddled now. That is difficult, too. She sometimes thinks my father-in-law is in high school. She gets time and people confused. She's recently had visions of Grandpa. I hadn't known my husband's grandfather too long before he passed away, only about 4 1/2 years. My grandpa, though, I had stayed summers at his house while my parents were at work. He had a box of wood scraps, spare hammers and nails in his garage workshops for us to tinker with. I love the smell of all things woodshop: varnish, new wood, etc. The inside of my grandfather clock still smells new like wood and stain, and each time I open it to wind it I think of my grandfather. (I often think of my dad who learned some of his carpentry skills from my grandpa, too. :)) This time of year is hard, sometimes. Right now, I'm aging-well seeing others age. On one side of my family there are a lot of family members who are aging rapidly. One of them, my great uncle and godfather, passed away this fall and I know it will be very difficult for my aunt and cousin he has left behind. This was one of his favorite times of the year. He was a very faithful person and enjoyed celebrating the birth of our Lord. He liked the family get togethers, too. :) I have other happy thoughts, too, watching my girls grow and change through the years, traditions, and decorations made by wonderful family members who are living...I know we think of the good memories to keep the tears at bay, but sometimes, it's just difficult to stop these misty eyes.

Sorry to be so sad at this moment, just hit me these past few days.